A Noteworthy Event

Only a few days ago Jon turned the ripe old age of 4-0. He seems to be taking it quite well, with little to no acknowledgement of how old he really is. We all know he looks no older than 25 but gosh darn it, he is 40! I mean the BIG "Over The Hill" 40. His moment has happened. His best years are over. We have only senility to look forward to right? In my attempt to make this noteworthy event memorable enough that senility couldn't touch it, I threw what I was hoping would be a great surprise party. Unfortunately for me, he was not surprised, but all in all rather pleased, I suppose. Friends, co-workers and neighbors all gathered to show their support for what this all represents, the beginning of a new era. The beginning, of well, what? I'm wondering...

Jon is married to a wonderful wife (:o)), has 2 incredible children, is holding down a great job in uncertain times, and lives in one of the most desirable cities in the U.S. What more could a man ask for? So what more is there from here on out, having the most obvious goals in life accomplished? Is it possible that I made this day a big deal because of the life evaluation going on in my own life? In our lives I think we rarely take inventory of who we are, where we've come from, and mostly, where or who we'd like to be. I know I don't. As for the Choy family as a whole, (I can't speak for Jon specifically), I think we are inundated with the horrifically mundane. Life at this pace is full. It is predictable and it is comfortable. We live for the day in and day out. Our children are healthy and happy and so are we. But is there more to look forward to?

I find myself unashamedly struck by the songs, that dawn the most often country radio stations, that speak of "what life is all about in the end". This idea resonates somewhere deep in my soul . I want to "live like I was dying". I want to see the forest and not always the trees. I want to look at mediocrity and get nautious. I want the "more" out of life and yet...

Well, it's my turn to turn 40...okay not for a couple more years, THANK GOD, but even so, will it change me? Will I see things more clearly, evaluate more specifically and live differently? Should it take a noteworthy event to prompt purposeful living?

As we sit on our haunches this holiday weekend, literally everyone but me is napping at this very moment, and I AM sitting, with nothing planned to seize life, I do ask these questions. What will I regret when I'm unable to get up and go as I can now?

So, when it is my turn to celebrate 40 years, would you please remind me that I should be living more freely? Remind me that a life without risk is a life without substance. Remind me that life is short no matter how long we've been alive, and that it is always uncertain. Remind me that the things I percieve as uncomfortable that keep me from seizing moments, like sweating in the hot sun or fear of what others think of me, will all seem completely ridiculous in the long run. And remind me most of all that in the end, it's not really my life in the first place. As for me, I hope turning 40 is not the beginning of the end, but the hope of the best life I've yet to live.